2024-- The Year of...

I'm big on goals. Considering the many possible ones, breaking them down into tasks that would need to happen to achieve such goals. I can write a SMART goal like no other--except it's more like a SMAT goal.

Because I'm not big on the follow-through. Perhaps none of my goals have been relevant--but that doesn't seem right because they feel like ideas an

d goals that are important to me. I think my real problem is that they aren't really achievable.

They feel doable when I write them. Add in four hours a week of writing time. No problem! That's nothing. But then, after I've taught all day and run my daughter around, my mind is shot, and I don't want to think about anything else. Or do anything else except stare at a television screen for an hour before I pass out on the couch.

There are things I have learned from my previous failures, though.

1. I am not a morning person and will never be a morning person, so planning on doing anything before work (for which I leave at 6:30 am) is not going to happen.

2. Big goals--the end goal if you will--should not be a part of my actual goal writing unless I'm really close to that end goal. Yes, I keep in mind that I want to get in shape and someday run a half marathon. However, if I keep the goal of a half marathon in mind, I'm going to balk and turn around and say no! Instead, I should keep the mini-goal in mind. And I mean super mini-goal!

3. Little trinket rewards, like a new workout outfit for hitting a milestone, are not going to inspire me. I will probably end up buying it anyway and make an excuse as to why it's okay.

4. I'm not ready to let go of this one yet, and I'll be making this mistake again this year. I tend to try to address too many parts of my life all at once. But I want to change things in many areas of my life, and they're all connected. So, I'm not going to worry about this one just now.

So what does this mean for 2024?

Short answer: I don't know.

Long answer: I have some goals, and if you've seen my Instagram post, you'll realize that I'm making some of the same mistakes from the past. Do I ever learn? However, I know that goals are tied up in the idea of hope: hope that this year will be better, hope that I can learn and grow and become a better person, writer, etc, hope that it won't feel like the world is crumbling around me. That is what I need to hold onto: Hope.

My word for this year is HOPE. Not just hoping, though, but setting goals and working towards them--even if I fail them yet again. To me, setting a goal is a way to get closer to what you're hoping for. Without hope, the goal is just a wish. Without the goal, hope is just a wish. So maybe that's the trick. Keep them together and they will add up to something more that can keep me going as the world inevitably will crumble around me at some point or another.